Story of the Swiss knife

“But it is my item and I want it back. So please help me out here.” I was slowly losing patience with the security check personnel who insisted on destroying the sharp object he found in my toiletry kit in my small suitcase.

You are probably thinking what a fool I am to have brought it in the first place or to not check-in that small suitcase at least.

Well, I always check-in my small suitcase. But have also always wondered why I don’t carry it with me and save some time. So on that fateful day, I was quite early to the airport (4:15 am) and decided to try it out. I checked with the Air Asia counter if small bottles of soap and shampoo were allowed. 

They were ok with it, as long as I didn’t have any sharp objects. They raised their eyebrows about my drum sticks, but were eventually confident that that would pass too. I tried to remember if there were any sharp objects and couldn’t recall any but my shaving razor which I remembered when I was waiting at the security check queue.

Google expressed reasonable confidence that most safety razors would pass. As I waited on the other side of the security belt, I eagerly studied the face of the person manning the X-ray machine as my suitcase was being scanned. His bored gazed lingered a bit longer but finally he let it through. Just as I was sighing in relief, he looked at me and said ‘There is a nail clipper in there, next to the razor.’

Shit! I had totally forgotten about it. I mentally prepared a response, but he continued. ‘But that is not the issue. What is the item between your razor and nail clipper?’

I had no clue what he was talking about. ‘May I open and check?’ As if I had a choice.

‘Yes please.’

It was a bloody swiss army knife! I had put it in there about a year back and had used it exactly twice since then. I sheepishly took it out and showed it.

He shook his head sadly and said ‘Destroy karna padega.’ (Has to be destroyed)

Though I was frustrated thinking of the time I would now be spending in going back to the check-in counter, checking the bag in, and walking through the burgeoning security queues, I had already mentally prepared myself. It was only 4:30 and my boarding was not until 5:15.

‘Ok, give it back to me, let me go back and check the luggage in.’

‘It is not that easy sir. Please go and bring an airline staff with you, and I will release the item.’

That mustn’t be hard, should it. I went down to gate #5 to see Indigo boarding their passengers but there was no Air Asia staff in sight.

I went back to the security and told him that.

‘Can’t help it sir. Your flight is at 6. I will wait till then and then…’

‘Then?’

‘Destroy karna padega.’

‘Hey you can’t do that. I want to go and check it in along with my luggage. Help me out here.’

‘Ok, sir. Go to helpdesk around the corner and talk to them. They will call Air Asia staff.’

That surely must be easy! Isn’t it? And it is too. If the helpdesk staff sat in their seats. But they weren’t there.

‘Sir the helpdesk isn’t there.’ I was back at security.

‘Then you will have to wait for Air Asia staff to come. Am afraid there is no other option.’

4:40.

I moved around frantically looking for some help somewhere when I saw a person from Airports Authority of India(AAI), moving around looking important with a walkie-talkie in hand.

‘You tell me… what do I do now?’

‘Sir, please go to that last security person, he will help you call the airline.’

I walked, not slowly anymore, towards that guy and explained.

‘Sir, please bring an Air Asia staff with you.’

‘But there are none down there.’

‘Sir, there is a helpdesk…’

‘But there is no one behind the desk to help!’

‘Sir, then am afraid you’ll have to wait. At flight take-off time, it will be destroyed’

America wouldn’t have been so zealous in destroying North Korean nukes.

‘But can’t you call them?’

‘No sir, we can’t call them from here.’

4:45.

I jog to the place where I found the AAI guy, but he was probably somewhere else looking important.

My roving eyes caught a desk behind which was another important looking security personnel by the name of Chouhan (name changed for anonymity). And along with him were two junior men.

I went and explained the issue to them.

Chouhan nodded and said in broken English. ‘I try to help you. Will do my best.’

I was at my sarcastic best then and wondered how one can do anything but his best when all he has to do is make a call to the counter below.

He nodded at one of the junior guys who then made a call post which he asked me to stand near a particular security check counter as that is where the airline staff would be entering from.

4:55. 

Every airline except Air-Asia seemed to be busy.

I went back to Chouhan who said he had already made three calls to Air Asia.

‘I am going to lose this knife. For no mistake of mine!’ I muttered.

‘Mistake is not in you, sir. It was in that toiletry bag of yours.’ He was trying to be funny I guess. Bad timing, Chouhan. I was fast losing hope. I could picture the security guy laughing evilly while destroying the knife (I couldn’t help wondering how one would go about ‘destroying’ a Swiss knife. Hammer it to pieces? Beats me!). I was determined to get it back, but didn’t know how to!

5:00.

Finally, one lady from Air Asia walked in like she was leading by a slim margin in a fast walking race. When I asked her to help me out with the suitcase check-in, she looked at her watch and determined it was too late for me to do it. When I insisted, she said her colleague who was about to come along ‘any time now’ would help me and that she had to go as she was in a hurry.

5:05.

Her colleague made a call to someone and told me that the counter was closed. I could still go and try, but that she would not be responsible if I missed the flight.

‘But I have been waiting here since 4:30 for you guys. I was much ahead of time, all you had to do was sign a piece of paper that would have enabled me to take back MY knife in MY bag, back to the counter and check-it in, and all this at MY own risk of missing the flight.’

‘Sorry sir, we had duty to attend to.’

5:08

Chouhan was still leaning back and relaxing in his chair, arms folded behind his head. I told him about what was happening and he was aghast. He leaned forward a bit and vented. ‘Being here is not their duty is it?’

He called the Air Asia lady and spoke to her and tried to circumvent process a bit, but together they discussed and dismissed a couple of options. I decided to throw in the towel, and was ready to leave.

‘But you should not leave them sir. Please call them and blast them. You wait, let me call them and give you the phone. Saala no one’s on time here nowadays.’

Before I could protest, he had the number dialled, the speaker phone on, and the phone was ringing at the other end. I really didn’t want to do this now. I didn’t even know what time they were supposed to be at the boarding counter, so what was I supposed to tell them!

5:12

Thankfully no one picked up. I told Chouhan that I was going to board the flight.

‘What? You have quit? Wait a minute,’ he asked another guy (Bahadur -  name changed for anonymity) to go with me and have a look at the item.

Ok, now this was the embarrassing bit. The Swiss knife I had was very small. Probably the size of 

Bahadur’s pinky finger. So while I walked with him to the security counter where the destroyer guy had the knife, I tried to cover up a bit.

‘It is a very small knife but has huge sentimental value, you see.’

‘Oh! I see!’ All Bahadur wanted was a peaceful morning and I wasn’t exactly the meditation centre he was hoping for.

What was even more embarrassing was that the knife was right on the security table near the guard and Bahadur kept looking around for it. I had to point it out to him. He gave me a is-this-what-you-have-been-making-me-run-around-for look and took it back to Chouhan.

5:15. 

Boarding was on. My phone buzzed. It was the wife. Messaging me to forget the knife and ensure that I caught the flight instead and that she would get me a brand new knife soon.

‘When do you come back to the airport?’ Chouhan asked inspecting the piece curiously.

‘Thursday night, sir.’

‘Bahadur, tag this item, assign a tracking number, and give it to sir.’

I could not believe my ears!

Bahadur promptly took down my boarding pass details, entered something in his diary, and asked me to collect it on Thursday from the lost and found counter.

‘Give him a tracking number too,’ Chouhan reiterated.

I got the tracking number written down on the reverse of the boarding pass.

Still surprised at what just happened I shook the man’s hand for what was the firmest handshake I could recall from memory.

‘I told you I would do my best,’ he said making me feel smaller than the knife for the sarcastic attitude I had towards that statement earlier on.

‘You did, sir and you did great! And you too Bahadur,’ and shook his hand too. Nothing great about the firmness of his handshake though.

I left a happy man. It is always a pleasure to meet people that solve problems instead of re-iterating three step SOPs (1-Find the Air-Asia staff. 2-Go to helpdesk. 3-Please wait and repeat from 1). Chouhan went out of his call of duty, he broke through red-tape, he ensured I get my knife. He did one more thing. He ensured the knife now had sentimental value. Because I consider it a gift from him.

PS: I wanted to take a selfie with him and post it on Facebook and make his deed go viral (Always wanted to see how posts go viral, maybe that is an experiment I will have for another day), but I wasn’t sure if that would get him into trouble. So I refrained!