How to go to Gurudwara for free food - For dummies

It was a gorgeous Sunday afternoon in Stamford, it was raining all right, but the temperature was a pleasant 50 Fahrenheit and there was no snow predicted for days. Monday too was a holiday, so that made it easier to thoroughly enjoy the Sunday. I had plans to go to the Gurudwara in Norwalk – when I could get free food in a town 15 minutes away, why would I go to the temple at Pomona an hour away? Besides, I heard that food is really good at a Langar.

My friend Gagan Lamba and his wife, who incidentally cooks the best Punjabi food I have tasted, had also planned to tag along – albeit for nobler reasons than mine – but had to withdraw at the last moment as the dude was suffering from a bout of high fever.

‘Don’t worry, all you have to do is tie a kerchief around your head and you are good to go,’ he had a word of advice to me when I left. I was going with another friend of mine eventually – Tam Brahm Vinay. And he had been to this place apparently multiple times in the past.

Always the cautious one, I didn’t want to land there just in time for the Langar, that would be too rude. So we left by 12:15 despite Vinay protesting that the prayers don’t end till 130pm. we reached at a quarter to one. As I walked from the car to the Gurudwara, I panicked. Have I come grossly underprepared? I tried to recollect all the Sikh kind of things that I knew and could do or say inside. The beautiful Golden temple came to mind! Then some people whom I know – Vikram, Gagan, Kulpreet, Manmeet, Harbhajan, Yuvraj etc. (The last two are indeed the cricketers, but what if they don’t know me…I do know them right?). Next came the song from Rang De Basanti.

This prayer song is one of the few prayer songs from movies that I would ever cherish. One other classic is from Mahanadi. 

But then, what good were these memories now??? They still didn’t tell me any Sikh things that I could do or say inside. Thankfully, no one accosted me to ask anything. As I removed my shoes, I was glad to see lots of scarves, meant for tying around the head. I picked up one and started when Vinay said ‘You know that the hair should not be visible after you tie the scarf, right?’

‘Well, I don’t, but what’s the big deal in that?’ I said and to my horror, found out that it is not easy to get the cloth to cover your head completely if you didn’t know how to. I turned around to see Vinay begin confidently. ‘Dude, you know how to do this???’ I asked shocked.

‘Man, I have come here many times before. Of course I know’, he said and proceeded to fold the cloth.

Damn! I should have done my homework. I have youtubed to learn how to swim, how to kickbox, how to tie a tie, wear a scarf, build websites even, but tie a cloth around the head for entering a Gurudwara? No!!! I mentally kicked myself for the stupidity and kicked Gagan Lamba too for oversimplifying things.

Thankfully, only an elderly couple was nearby and they didn’t care if two kids (they were old enough to call us kids) were fooling around with the scarves. Finally, we got it right and entered the Darbar Sahib (prayer hall, I have read about Gurudwaras by the time of writing this article) where I went and almost took a seat when Vinay hissed ‘Dude, wait.’

I wondered what it could be now.

‘We have to prostrate first.’

We stood in line and I prostrated before the Guru Granth Saheb which was placed on a raised platform (Takht or Manji Sahib, it is called). A shiver ran down my spine when I thought about how it would have been if I had come here alone. I would have probably earned nasty glances from a hundred people.

A person was giving a speech over the microphone and most of the words were Punjabi, way over my head. Though it was similar to Hindi and he interspersed the speech with English words, I still was unable to pick up the meaning of the sentences. So I started looking about and observing the people sitting all around me. Many people were not wearing turbans and had just covered their heads with scarves. This could only mean one of three things…

• ·         They were Sikhs who did not believe in the turban
• ·         They were non-Sikhs that believed in Sikhism and turned up here with intent to pray
• ·         They were non-Sikhs who were just plain hungry for good food, like me

Vinay nudged me from behind and whispered, ‘The speech will continue for another hour. I told you that we could leave another 30 minutes later.’

I despaired hearing that, but still ignored the remark and opened the browser in my cell phone to wiki up what customs people follow in Gurudwaras. No luck. Tried rephrasing the search a couple of different ways, but to no avail. Then suddenly a burly man came and sat right next to me. He better not find out that I was googling things up sitting in the prayer hall. So I turned the phone display towards me to hide it from his view and looked at him cautiously. He returned my stare, only I could not tell if he looked angry or not.

I looked around and every person seemed to be looking at me, but their expressions were totally covered by their lengthy beards. This made all of them look like they were glaring at me. And the ones wearing the big turbans looked stricter than the ones with the leaner turbans. Look below...don't you think?

Big turban

Smaller turban

I guess it’s an exact parallel to how differently the Brahmins wear the mark on their foreheads – these ones look fiercer than these ones. But eventually I convinced myself that they were all nice people and that I was just feeling guilty for coming in here underprepared and that they actually were just looking at me normally. There was nothing serious about the glances!

Big forehead mark

Smaller forehead mark

Now that the internet search option was out, I began to watch the proceedings closely and did things exactly the way others did them, right from the way the Prasad was accepted to the way people lifted their plates as a mark of respect to the volunteers serving the delicious food to everyone. I was more confident by the time I left the place. I kind of had figured out (when I was fidgeting with my kerchief during the prayer) how the knot can be made around the head. I caught some of the prayer words – Wahi Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahi Guru Ji Ki Fateh, and had an overall experience of a Sikh prayer meeting, not to mention the awesome food. As much as I feel strongly that religion causes a lot of split among people, it is indeed remarkable how India is the birth place of such great religions and this underlines the strong spiritual thread that runs across the nation.

PS:To get a more serious description of a Gurudwara either for learning about this holy place of worship or for being forearmed when going for free food, read this: http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/sikhism/ritesrituals/gurdwara_1.shtml