My first novel

Hi Reader,

I recently completed my completely trashy first draft of my first novel (You can guess by this sentence how my novel would be). I was forced to write a novel because I participated in this competition called National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) where I had to write 50,000 words of a novel starting from scratch... and I did. It was difficult, very very difficult, because I am what every parent calls a 'Jack of All Trades' - so doing just the one thing over and over again, every day for 30 days was difficult.

But thanks to god and all supporters - I finished. And so, despite a personal vow not to reveal the plot to anyone till I smoothen out the millions of plotholes in the story, I think I owe you this much at least. So here you go, the synopsis of my story (No spoilers...so read right on...)

Raja is a confused TamBrahm who is working in a software firm and then on goes to his dream land, America. He is thrilled to be there and is all set to settle down there. Little does he know how his life would take a turn.

He meets Harry (formerly Hari) at office and they both become friends. Harry is known for his pranks and at times for taking it to extremes. So much so that he loses his girlfriend to one of his pranks. And she is Smriti, the office cutie who meets and falls in love with Raja. Just when things are going well, Raja gets a double blow - his H1 visa application does not go through and his manager kicks him back to India.

Back in India, Raja's very close friend Kumar, takes him around to meet the children in the NGO that he runs. Kumar has quit his job and wishes to gain an entrepreneurial scholarship that will give him the freedom to work for the society without worrying much about personal financial security. And hence, takes up this project at a village near Pollachi. Kumar and Raja visit the village regularly during weekends and get to know the situation there with the help of the mysterious Guna Sir. Though Guna has lived in the village for long, his actions and his worldly knowledge at times are so sophisticated that Kumar has his own doubts as to the background of the man who is the elected village cousellor.

One day Raja's parents come to know of his relationship with Smriti and are, understandably, livid. Raja's other close friend Kuldeep, a captain in the Indian Army, advices Raja to stay calm and take wise decisions.

Raja gels well with the kids in the village and gets them involved a lot in activities in the local school. So when it is time for him to go back to America, the children bid him a tearful farewell. Raja too leaves with a very heavy heart.

Soon after, Kuldeep is embroiled in a major hostage situation when terrorists capture a major landmark in India's financial capital of Mumbai.

Does Raja come back? Do he and Smriti get together? Does Harry play one last prank?

Does Kumar get the scholarship that he wants? What is the mystery behind Guna sir?

Does Kuldeep come out alive from the clutches of the deadly men from the sea?

For all these and more...await the latest potboiler... Swades!!!

The Office - Earth Day

This is my take on the wildly popuar TV series, The Office. The character list is shown below for your reference.

MS Michael Scott, Regional Manager, Scranton branch

RH Ryan Howard, Corporate employee, boss of MS
Jim Sales and Assistant Regional Manager, Scranton branch
DS Dwight Schrute, Sales, Scranton branch
AH Andy Howard, Sales, Scranton branch
Stanley Sales, Scranton branch
Pam Receptionist and Jim's girlfriend, Scranton branch
Phyllis Sales, Scranton branch
Toby HR, Scranton branch
Oscar Accounts and gay person, Scranton branch




(Regular working day at the Office. Phone ringing in the back ground, Pam busy as usual at her desk. Michael Scott walks in with a more than a usual smile on his face)




MS: Hello! Hello everyone...A trivia for you this morning...tell me who sung this beautiful song...

(Trying to sing in a high pitched Michael Jackson tone)

'What about children...


What about time...


What about all the things ..


That you..

(pauses to look at a piece of paper)

...said was yours and mine...'



(The room goes silent and everyone stares at Michael until Andy starts a chorus line)



AB: A-A-Aaa aaaa..

Ooo-Ooo-Oooo Oooo



MS: Bingo! The Earth song, by Michael Jackson, the greatest black rappers the world has seen



Jim: Actually, he was a pop artiste.



MS: Ah! Trust Jim to ignore the fortune and focus on the cookie... (continuing in the same breath) THAT is not the point! The man was a famous earth activist and we should honor his actions and celebrate Earth Day today.



DS and AB: Yeah! (together leaping and pumping their fists)



DS: Ok! Party planning committee, on the task. We need fifty paper plates and cups and...



MS: Dwight...



DS: (continues disregarding Michael) ...some spoons...



MS: Dwight, Dwight...stop it! I said Earth Day and not anti Earth Day. You are not supposed to use paper or plastic, that is the whole point.



Oscar: How are we supposed to make sales calls today then?



MS: Well, the gay man (Oscar frowns) comes up with a not-so-gay point! I have not thought about that yet, but a decision on that will be made soon.

Michael Scott – To the camera, sitting in his office

Corporate Social Responsibility is about going that extra mile for the society. I have decided that we wont make sales calls today but rather, advise our claients to change to other devices to write on...like...something more modern. Stone tablets perhaps...

Jim – To the camera, Pam by his side, in the cafeteria

I dont think cutting down on sales calls is a good idea, especially with this entire talk of downsizing and the website doing more sales than us humans...It is a man-made disaster...

(Camera pans to Pam's face. She looks concerned as she nods vigorously in agreement)


MS: (On the phone with Jim) Ask everyone to be at the conference room in five minutes.

(Jim looks at the camera, amused)

(Conference room full of people. Michael has stuck the walls with pictures of cartoon tress holding 'Save Me' boards and crying as people are chopping them, of Kelly Kapoor eating with her hands, spoons kept beside her plates and so on)

MS: Am so glad to see my entire task force here, appreciating the need to save paper and plastic from becoming extinct. The Chinese discovered paper a long time ago...

AB: You mean 'invented' ?

MS: Please stop interrupting me Andy. It all means the same (fishes out his cell phone and reads from it)

The Chineses discovered paper a long time ago. But we had a lot of trees back then. But ever since, we have been acting irresponsibly and using paper for everything – presentations like these...

(Fumbles with his phone for some more murmuring 'why cant they accomodate more in text messages')

...tissues etcetera. And that is causing the paper population in the world to deplete.

(People look at one another in that disbelief that they are hearing all this)

So today, we are going to avoid using paper for anything at all. I want all of you to hard sell 'alternative writing meda' to all outbound sales calls and incoming customer service calls.

Phyllis: (With a coke can in hand) But do you think this is a good idea? You yourself mentioned Corporate talking of downsizing the workforce...

MS: Phyllis, you have been talking of downsizing yourself for long, but that Coke aint helping!

(Phyllis looks stunned. Toby shakes his head)

MS: Ok! Ok! I was just kidding. (murmurs 'Cant you people take a joke?')
Anyway, back to the topic now... it is just for one day, we will catch up with our numbers tomorrow.

Any other suggestions for Earth Day? Kelly, Indians are known to eat with their hands and shun the spoon. Can you talk abou that? Maybe we white people (sweeps a pointed finger at the people in the room, ends at Stanley where he bends down the finger) can learn something from you guys for a change.

(People leave the room, their faces filled with a mixture of amusement and disgust)

Kelly Kapoor – To camera from the cafeteria

(Her mouth is full of rice and some of it is spilling out by the sides. She has a wide grin as she says...) I just told them how much I like eating with my hands from time to time.

(Over at Corporate, a new situation is brewing...David Wallace, the CFO, has summoned Ryan to his office)

DW: Ryan, how is the website stuff going on? Obviously you did a good job there, but are people really using it?

RH: Of course David. Considering that not all our customers yet know that we are now Online, the website is doing a good job. Since the time we engaged in this dynamic marketing strategy, the numbers have gone up.

DW: Enough to justify the cost of maintaining and marketing the site? Revisit the idea cos your personal sales numbers are yet to reach monthly targets.

(Over at Scranton)

Pam: (On the phone) One moment Ryan (Transfers call to Michael)

MS: (Plays 'Earth Song' near the receiver)

RH: Mic..Michael, what is this? I have to talk to you, this is urgent.

MS: 'Happy Earth Day, Earthling!

I am the saviour of paper,


here to make sure your grandchildrens' world is safer!

RH: Michael, I dont know what you are talking about, but our website is down.

MS: I am tackling a bigger threat than that here, like trees falling down, but anyway, how can I help you with the website?

RH: I need you to talk to our folks at Scranton. Talk to Dwight, Andy, Jim, the entire sales team and get them going at full speed. We got to cover for the down time of the website by selling more. We have to 'up' our numbers today.

MS: Whoa! Whoa! We are celebrating Earth Day here and that means no paper sales today.

RH: Michael, who authorised you to do that? This is not acceptable.

MS: Well, I have spoken to Toby who says that Dunder Mifflin has to do something for the society every year and so, I am well within my rights to do this. In fact, I just thought of it. I am making this Earth Week, so we will celebrate for a week and not just a day. (winks at camera)

(Meanwhile, Dwight is attending customer calls)

Customer: Hi we are running short of stock. I was expecting a call from you guys and since I didnt receive one, I thought I'd call and confirm a batch delivery.

DS: Sorry sir. Starting today, till today, we wont be delivering paper to anyone. We are going to become environmentally responsible today and suggest you consider alternate objects to write upon.

Customer: What do you mean? What else would I write on?

DS: Our boss texted his entire speech transcript to himself and read out from it today morning. You can follow the example that he has set to the world.

Customer: You hvae got to be kidding me!

DS: Absolutely not. Maybe you could consider cardboard cartons then.

Customer: This is it. We are through doing business with you.

DS: That is awfully sad. We hate to see you go, but urge you to call back tomorrow when we will indeed be taking orders for paper.

Customer: You guys are impossible (Slams down the phone)

(Andy rushes to a white board in the middle of the room updates a table that indicates number of sales calls declined and the corresponding number of trees saved)
(Back at Michael's office)

RH: (in exasperation) Ok! What do you want me to do?

MS: You could come down to Scranton and personally request me to resume Earth Day and discontinue Earth Week.

RH: Are you crazy Michael? It is a 3 hours drive.

MS: Yes, it IS tiring, but only if you are driving your brand new, expensive, fuel guzzling, ozone blasting toy...which...you will NOT DO on Earth Day.

RH: Then how on earth do I come there?

Ryan – In front of camera, standing inside a train

Oh yes! I am the boss indeed, and totally in control of my crew. (A beggar pushes past him and Ryan loses balance for a moment. He looks ruffled when he turns towards the camera again) I cant go and tell David what is happening. He might come to a conclusion that I am not handling things well enough. I have got to get to Scranton and sort things out.

(Ryan arrives completely tired, his clothes are crumpled and his hair is awful. People have gathered in groups and are gossipping)

RH: Guys, what is happening here? Our productivity is at an all time low right now!

MS: (Emerging from his office) Ah! Welcome to Scranton, my friend. Can you smell the green of the grass? Can't you feel the freshness already?

RH: Let us talk at your office.

Michael – To camera, sitting in a green lawn

Initially, it was difficult to convince the employees, but we have to, and will adapt to changes. And these changes will give Dunder Mifflin and any company for that matter, a good status in the society (Customer is shown ordering paper from Staples). Ryan is going to take the good news back to corporate where his personal records will probably be updated positively (David Wallace is shown giving Ryan a earful pointing at his sales graphs), the society will enjoy a plastic free environment (Kelly is shown gulping another scoop of rice in that ungainly way, while others around her look at her in disgust).

(Camera pans to the door of the ladies room)

Pam: (screaming from inside) Where is the toilet paper?

Housekeeping guy – on camera

Michael said 'just one roll a day!'

R.I.P

Ours is a fairy tale friendship, the good times we had together as two little boys, I proudly accounce that no other pair would have had. To the extent that our names were said in one breath, always, everywhere...in school, at my house, at his.... much to the envy of all around.

Seldom were the evenings we didn't spend together... we were either at school till late, after which I used to cycle back with him sitting on the front bar of my Hero Ranger (He didn't know how to cycle back then...in fact not even know)...and then changed my clothes and used to go right back to his house. There were his sisters, his mom, dad, and his big dog, aptly named Tiger.

While all of us in the room were vocal and passed no chance passing snide comments at each other, his father used to sit silently. Many a time, I didn't even realise that he was in the house, at times sitting right in the same room. Evening time meant puja time and he would go and do an hour long puja to god with us watching and wondering how he gets the patience to sit those long minutes engrossed in deep meditation and thought.

'Don't underestimate him,' my friend used to say to me. 'My father was a gold medallist in college football. And a champion sportsman too' We found it difficult to believe, because of his dad's thin frame, but we did. Because we saw him walk! The man used to walk, he loved walking, if ever there was a Forrest Gump of walking, it would be him. Anytime and everytime, be it just around his apartment grounds, or to nearby shops for buying milk, grocery, whatever, be it rain or the searing Madras shine, he used to walk without uttering a word of protest.

But beneath the calm and seemingly uninteresting personality, he had his own brand of a subtle sense of humor. He opposed whatever thoughts one presented about the game of cricket. Our conversations used to go like this. My friend and I would sit watching a very boring day of Test cricket, when I would nudge him and ask him to get his dad involved somehow.

'Appa, do you think Azharuddin would score a century?'

'No, no... the Sri Lankan bowling attach might seem weak, but he cant play spin that well, so he will not score more than 30.'

We would giggle at each other silently, wait for as long as we thought would be required for him to forget what he stated, and then have another go at him. This time, it would be me.

'Uncle, the Sri Lankans are bowling very tightly, Azhar seems like getting out any moment.'

'No, no...wait and watch. Spin bowling is Azhar's favorite, and in this pitch, they cant even disturb him. He will go on to score a century.'

We would be rolling in laughter that evening sitting atop the wall bordering the railway station, and shouting to make ourselves audible over the thunder of the passing trains.

Now we have all grown up, grown apart in distance (physically that is). Me, another of the millions of software engineers, sitting in far away USA, and him, a proud soldier and an aviator in the Indian Air Force. I learnt two days back that his father had suffered a heart attack and is in the hospital. I learnt an hour back that his father had not made it.

My dear friend is on his way long, painful way back to Madras from Gujarat. I am not going to be with him. I can say anything I want... My thoughts, prayers, my everything is with him and family, but the truth is...that I am not going to be there with him. I hope God gives him all the strength and courage to tide this though.

Uncle, we will miss you a lot. I am sure God means the best for you.

July 26, 2009 - 23:59

What you see is not what you get

It was not a very pleasant evening at the train station, but then you cant expect many of those during summer in Madras. I was waiting, sitting with a laptop in my lap and with two bags on the chair next to me and a bottle of Bisleri. Waiting for the announcer to call out the train i was to board to go to the US. I had waited quite sometime and wanted to go to the rest room to relieve  myself before I could get in to the train. But I was in that uncomfortable zone from where it was going to be neither too long for the announcement to come over, nor will it be within the next minute. I was kicking myself for not going earlier and now I had to take a call here. To go or not to go!

I did pull myself up finally, convincing myself that even if the announcement came when my bladder was being emptied, I would hear it. After all, isnt that what loudspeakers were supposed to do?

Then came the point when i had to decide again! The toilet was exactly 10 steps away. Should I take my luggage with me or not? Oh! How difficult life could be...no respite even sitting on a railway station during these hot evenings with no fan on. I actually could, but then I was lazy and then, what the heck, the toilet was so near and so many people had seen me sitting there for long, that they would instantly sense something amiss if someone else picked them up.I got up and gingerly stepped away from the bags, and casually looked over my shoulder. There was a bearded man, maybe in his forties. reading a newspaper, sittng in front of where i was sitting. He seemed to not notice me at all, and in anycase he he was too distinguished to resort to something as petty as thievery.

I walked to the toilet and stood just outside its door,  positioning myself in such a way that I could see the folks sitting in the hall but most of them, at least the ones sitting near my bags, could not see me. The bearded man shifted, closed his newspaper, stretched his hands high up in the air, and looked behind while covering his yawn with one hand. I froze! Is he going to do it?

Suddenly the announcement came! And I could not have been more thankful to whatever or whomever it is that told the arrival of my train. I decided not to go to the toilet after all, and walked past the rows of men and women and wailing children to my seat and yes! Murphy was right! If things had to happen, they would happen even if God needed to create a miracle to prove Murphy right. It could happen even if it was impossible for anyone to thieve two big red bags, when the owner was walking straight towards them from a distance of 10 yards.But how the heck did he leave the laptop behind? Not much market for stolen laptops anymore eh? But that was the last of my concerns. The RSA tag to my office PC was inside that bag, and I was sure to lose my job if my manager found out about it. That would mean great difficlty in paying off the home loans that were sitting invisibly on my head. And that meant, all the reason to find the man soon, that took my bags, along with my house inside it.

People around had started moving towards the platforms forming queues in the security check area. The white lights reflected off the equally clean and white ceiling and created a bright atmosphere inside the station. I was looking here and there frantically, trying to know where one should look in these times. I caught sight of Varun, my namesake friend from college. It hit me suddenly that he was also supposed to return to America on the same day. He had told me that when on phone one day before we came on vacation to Bhratmata.The guy was looking paler than he ever looked before and very clean and tidy in his fresh pressed clothes, to the point that 

he had a halo around and over his head. 

'Hey Varun!, What are you upto','he asked irritatingly from the queue. 

I dont know what I answered next, but I do know that I felt so shabby in front of him. Maybe people who lose their belongings irresponsibly feel that way, in front of those that are responsible enough not to do such things. Gods way of running things!

I then ran in the direction of the exit point, where baggage was handled in a small room. I dont know how they 'handle' baggage, but thats what I have heard they do in there. On the way to the room, I saw a bespectacled lady, wearing a boring government given uniform - it was such a dullish grey color - holding her head high and trying to peer into a magazine beneath with her spectacles. Never understood why people needed spectacles if they need to peer beneath them, but maybe they did. I never wore a pair before in my life and I didnt care at this point, so I thumped my fist onto the desk in front of her, startling her, and myself in the process.

'What do you want?', she asked me in perfect Hindi.

I can talk Hindi perfectly only in times of duress and this was one such time.

'I lost my baggage, where do I find them?'

'Go straight and into the room on your left. They will tell you.'

I ran into that room and found a dinghy room, a single lamp hanging above a table. Men were crowded around the table and smoke was swirling in the air.

'Go, go, search somewhere outside. Why will someone check in stolen luggage?' said the guy with the limp.

Darn, he was right. Why the hell will someone do that.

'Go the same room, but take the stairs to the basement. There is a person there whom I believe can help you,' said the bystander who saw me running around and called me to enquire what my problem was. So I went back to the same place and paused at the top of the staircase. The room I had stepped into minutes back was empty now (I guaged that by the absence of light or sound from inside it) and the staircase, well, it was so dark I could barely see the steps. 

Taking a deep breath but making sure I dont let it all out in one big whoosh, lest it disturb whomever or whatever was in there, I slowly took the first step. A small bulb came on above me, throwing soft light onto my feet. I experienced the same thing in subsequent steps and it happened like in a movie. I had to clear some cobwebs when I reached the bottom and the room, I didnt even want to enter that room, doesnt matter if I dont get back my bags, and with it my house.

I ran up the stairs not caring about the thudding my feet made on the wooden steps, up into the open. I took a deep breath of fresh evening air, and sat on a small stool. But wait..maybe... and then I walked towards the place where it all started minutes ago... There they were.. The two bags, the laptop, and even my water bottle, only someone had emptied it of its contents.

************************************************************

Sorry to sound filmy, but this is the truth. I woke up with a start at this point and thanked god that I really was not in such a position. I have crazy dreams like this very often. I dont know how your dreams are, but mine are very vivid and contain a lot of truth and events taking place in my life. For instance, when I recently went on vacation to India, I actually had lost my baggage, not because it was robbed from me, but due to the carelessness of the airline staff that lost it while 'handling' it. And there was one event that happened five years ago, when I had gone to the restroom thinking I would hear the announcers call, but didnt. And I missed my bus by the time I came out because it had already left.

The dreams can be crazy too in sections. Which train from India takes you to the US and I dont know of any railway stations in the world that has a security check, like airports do. Well, I take that back, maybe they do, but not in India at least.

Anyway, I will put down my interesting dreams in this blog from time to time, and you tell me about yours, you can comment in the post itslelf or email me. So long then...